.​.​.​bygones

by David Johnson

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about

“…bygones,” my second studio release, has material that ranges from some of my earliest songs to some of the newest material I’ve written. In a way it sheds light on what was going behind the scenes during the creation of my first album Venus Guytrap (2012). Much of the material in Venus Guytrap was a distraction of sorts from dealing with some deeper things in my life. The stories herein are integral parts of my ongoing journey, and I hope you enjoy them!

credits

released May 13, 2014

recorded by Nick Ripley in Seattle Washington from December 2012-March 2014.

Amy Denio plays accordion on "Kimberlee"
Shannon Grady lends vocals to "Sitting Alone" and "Molehill Man"
Dave Barr lends vocals to "Friday Nights"

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Track Name: Kimberlee (featuring Amy Denio)
How can mere words describe you?
Fate was the doctor that prescribed you to me
During those turbulent years
When I was washing down my fears with my tears
Some people search all their lives
For a friend like I've been able to find
But you're so much more than a friend
And what we share will never end

And I couldn't have made it without you
And I couldn't ever doubt you

Kimberlee
You're an eternal part
An eternal part of me
You'll never go away
No you'll never leave
And every day I'm thankful
For everything you do for me
Kimberlee
Kimberlee

Kimberlee
You're an eternal part
An eternal part of me
You'll never go away
No you'll never leave
And every day I'm thankful
For everything you done for me
Track Name: Poseidon
Poseidon I have lost you somehow
I used to sink and swim
I'm standing on the cliff right now
Looking for him
And I don't know what I was thinking
But I know I'm sad
That you felt you had to leave
Unannounced like that

I used to be a garden
Where you would plant your seed
And I would blossom and bloom
With you inside of me
But then you locked the door behind you
And you threw away the key
And now this sad little song
Is all that's left of you and me

Poseidon I have lost you somehow
I used to sink and swim
Track Name: Don't
Don't fuck with me
Unless all you're gonna do is fuck with me
Dont' fuck with my heart
Cuz that's a no-no body part
Don't lead me on
Cuz I would much rather just get off
Don't tell me lies
Jesus Christ says that isn't nice
Track Name: This Mistake
Out went the trash
Into the garbage can
My heart tagged along
So it could help me write this song

And I don't know why your face still makes me cry
Cuz I thought I was over you
Boy, what else can I do?

Up were raised the stakes
When you made this mistake
My heart forever stood still
In the wake of what you make me feel

And I don't know why your face still makes me cry
Cuz I thought I was over you
Boy, what else can I do?
Track Name: Tearstainer
I was Lucy in the sky
There were diamonds in my eyes
And a smile on my face
That would soon be replaced

I was lost in a fantasy
But it seemed so real to me
And the ending
Was anything but happy

I spent 24 hours in jail
And the rest of the summer in 3 loony bins
It wasn't really what I expected
When I agreed to LSD with him

Snow fell
On my heart
And froze all
Of the working parts
Disaster
And depression
Got the best of me
Yet again
And I tried
To cry
Less
Track Name: Double Entendre
Years ago we went to a Halloween party
I didn't know hardly anybody there
You were Cruella De Vil
And I was a bear
We were talking to someone
When her little brother walked up
Dressed as Quail Man
I thought that was awesome
He said,
"Wow...you're dressed up as a bear. There's a double entendre if I ever saw one."
I was just impressed that he knew what a double entendre was
He was a twink back then
But he's grown some hair
He was a twink back then
But now he's a bear
Track Name: Celery's Half Sister
There are some things that are alike
So much so that visually they seem to intertwine
But serious differences nonetheless exist
My taste buds can attest to that
And they can attest to this:

Rhubarb, celery's half sister
I want some of your lovin' mister!
I don't want it watered down
Or of any other color than rhubarb

Sittin' in the restaurant that is love
I told the waitress Cupid what I want
I'll complain to the manager that is Aphrodite
If I don't get my

Rhubarb, celery's half sister
I want some of your lovin' mister!
I don't want it watered down
Or of any other color than rhubarb

Some men have got the looks
(The looks that kill)
Some men have got the brains
(The cerebral skills)
Some men have got the tongue
(The smooth talk)
But I want the real thing or I'm prepared to take a walk

I want some rhubarb, celery's half sister
I want some of your lovin' mister!
I don't want it watered down
Or of any other color than rhubarb
Track Name: White Blueberries
When desire is high
And release is low
Let the everyday colors be covered in hot white snow
White blueberries show
That the truth varies so
In a world where you accept your fate and just let go

What is the Id but the part of us that's most uncensored?
What is it but the place where we are most unfettered?
Give it a try
But don't stay there, no
Pull your head out of the sand and let's go
Track Name: You're The Star
You're the star
Yes you are, my little darlin'
I can't have people gettin' to know you
You were never supposed to be that far in the limelight

When people look at you
They know just exactly where I've been
My history is written right there in your eyes

Since you came around
My ratings have gone down
Since you came around
My ratings have gone down

You're the star
Yes you are, my little darlin'
I can't have people gettin' to know you
You were never supposed to be that far in the limelight
You're the star, my little darlin'
You're the star, my little darlin'
My little darlin'
Track Name: Sitting Alone (featuring Shannon Grady)
Sitting alone in this house
There are so many secrets now
It's getting harder for me to breathe
Cuz the air is so thick around me

Sitting alone in this room
Listening to the rain pounding on the roof
It's been raining for hours
And it sure ain't gonna bring any May flowers

Sitting alone in this bed
There are so many jilted thoughts in my head
I remember the last time our eyes met
I never thought I'd see you again
I thought you were dead

Wanted dead or alive
With a frown or a smile
Dead or alive
Baby, either way is fine

Sitting alone in the dark
No one can hear the song in my heart
I've been craving sweet affection
And loneliness is a dangerous affliction to be stricken with

Sitting alone in this house
Sitting alone in this room
Sitting alone in this bed
Sitting alone in the dark

Wanted dead or alive
With a frown or a smile
Dead or alive
Baby, either way is fine
Track Name: Another End
We used to be friends
We saw each other all the time
Then you met him
And turned on a dime

Love has taken another friend
Love has called another end
To the way things were

Then he moved in
And everything changed
Now it's just you and him
And I feel estranged

Love has taken another friend
Love has called another end
To the way things were

I used to be young
And so naïve
I used to think there was some love
Between you and me

But time has proven that that's not true
"The only one you can love is you"
And I know that's true
Track Name: Away Into The Night
How much more will you take
before you decide to stay in the same place
and watch him drive away into the night?

After all, the darkness is where he prefers to be
because he thinks that you can't see
the shining light bulbs of his bright ideas.

But friends are not supposed to meddle in love affairs,
they're supposed to sit quietly over there
and wait for whatever happens to happen.

But I am like a bat:
my eyes were made
to see through the night
without any strain.
And let me tell you, my friend,
the light in your eyes has faded.
He is like a flame:
so bold and bright.
But the truth snuffed him out
and now the smoke's burning your eyes.
And you cry, and I cry for you.

You held your tongue while I was dating that asshole
earlier this year.
But I can't stand by and watch this one
drive you to tears
again and again
and again and again
and again

I am like a bat:
my eyes were made
to see through the night
without any strain.
And let me tell you, my friend,
the light in your eyes has faded.
He is like a flame:
so bold and bright.
But the truth snuffed him out
and now the smoke's burning your eyes.
And you cry, and I cry for you.

It's up to you what you wanna do.
But when the foot was in the other shoe
you said it was so hard for you to see me so sad.
Now I know what you meant
cuz you're digging your own grave
and I am waving goodbye
and wondering, I'm wondering:

How much more will you take
before you decide to stay in the same place
and watch him drive away into the night?
Track Name: Molehill Man (featuring Shannon Grady)
Is this really what you need:
a careless man with reluctant seed
to bring you baby and make you whole?
There's a white flag runnin' up your pole
Girl, come down of that mountainous plan
Can't you see he's a molehill man?
Can't you see that he's empty and craving your fill?
Like a quick fix, like a happy pill

This half measure man
With his wholehearted cries
Half-measure beggin' for another try
He's craving completion
Like it can't be his own
But you know to be whole you must first be alone

Is it the art or is it the artist?
Is leaving the man or the dream behind the hardest?
Are you caught up in love that's tied up in hurt
with that slight of hand runnin' up your skirt?
A fractional person can't complete you
This molehill man doesn't know how to treat you
So treat yourself better and walk away
There is love another day

This half measure man
With his wholehearted cries
Half-measure beggin' for another try
He's craving completion
Like it can't be his own
But you know to be whole you must first be alone
Track Name: November In Olympia
November in Olympia
was as cold as December every day
November in Olympia
was as cold as December every single day
in every single way

I never even knew there were so many holes
in what I was holding true about you
I never saw the pain behind your loving smile
I guess it really took me a while to catch on

It was a beautiful time
when we both used the word "forever"
It made sense in the context of the state of mind we were in
and in the context of how everything had been
up until then.
Then time walked by us
and I started to hide from us
and burning our eyes
were my cheating and lies.
Cheating and lies
Cheating and lies
Cheating and lies

I look at my left hand and say,
"What do you want to do today?
Maybe we should just stay inside and play for a while."
My penis full of memories,
my heart full of makeshift fantasies about the past
Neither thing is really seeming to satisfy me right now
quite like...

Flesh and blood
and sweat and cum
Give me your flesh and blood
I want your sweat and your cum

November in Olympia
was as cold as December every single day
November in Olympia
was as cold as December every single day
in every single way.
Track Name: Heads Up
Come lay your head on my pillow
But don't stay all night
Cuz I snore really loud
And I don't have a CPAP yet
Like some of the other bears have
And you won't get a wink
If you're sleepin' next to me, man

Tell me you love me
But whisper it under your breath
Make me ask you
To repeat what you just said
But don't tell me the truth when you say it again
Yeah, I know, lying is wicked and lying is a sin
But it's better than letting someone die of a heart that's broken.

Come lay your lips softly onto mine
But leave before midnight
When all the magic dies
And my clothes go back to the way that they looked before you arrived
I guess it wasn't such a good idea to tell that lie
But baby, it's alright
It's alright

Come lay your head
On my pillow
But don't stay all night
Cuz I am a black widow bear
I'll just kill you and eat you and leave you there
It's better not to look at me, it's better not to stare
And I'm giving you a heads up
Because I care
Track Name: Your Guitar
I wrote this song on your guitar
Because it read my fingers' thoughts when I was playin' it
I was fragile and hesitant to commit
But I had to make the best of it

My heart has learned to expect the worst
My pen has learned to love a sad verse
But this time I did not succeed in bein' blue
Because I want to be with you

I'm not gonna say it
You know exactly how I feel
All my life I was trained to fake it
But I can be just real with you

My past has begun to hit the fan
No point in running, so I'll just stand
Resisting change deprives me of the growth that I crave
Thanks for your patience along the way

I'm not gonna say it
You know exactly how I feel
All my life I was trained to fake it
But I can be just real with you

I wrote this song on your guitar
I hope it reminds you of how beautiful you are
Not only to me, but intrinsically.
Track Name: Friday Nights (featuring Dave Barr)
I've known you for far too long
I can't believe I just met you in person this year
That may have been my first Pride
If I remember right
(But five bucks says I don't remember right)

Friday nights, drinkin' and shootin' at the breeze
With Cupid's broken arrow
It was narrow of me
To keep myself so unhappy
But you knew that story
You had written it before me

And we decided we like it better when we're alone
So we chew the fat and we blow all the smoke we can blow
And when the cloud clears from above us we weigh less
And then we go our separate ways until our paths cross again

A bottle of Petite Petit
Followed by sweet Sherry
Followed by rum & Coke
Hours of conversation
And quiet observation
As a friendship continues to form
"You've been warned,"
we both say to each other.
"That's fine with me,"
we both reply as we blow our covers

And we decided we like it better when we're alone
So we chew the fat and we blow all the smoke we can blow
And when the cloud clears from above us we weigh less
And then we go our separate ways until our paths cross again

Friday nights, drinkin' and shootin' at the breeze
With Cupid's broken arrow
Track Name: There Is One
There is one who has been there since I was born
One who has seen all of the things woven and torn
It's me
And I know better than anyone else that I'm better than my mistakes
And I believe someone is on their way

There will come one who I can love
There will come one who I can love
And who can love me

In a room with brightly-colored flashing lights
There is a flower bloomin' on the wall tonight
It's me
Won't someone come and pick me?
I am the shy, silent choice behind you
And I believe

There will come one who I can love
There will come one who I can love
And who can love me

But in the meantime
I'll be over here
Between a rock and a hard man
Just look a little harder
I'm over here
And I just might give you all I have

There will come one who I can love
There will come one who I can love
And who can love me